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Repeat after me: give your loved ones things that they actually need.
1. Rose gold hair clips for a fancy 'do that anyone would save onto their Pinterest board.
2. A magnetic grocery checklist that'll prevent all "DAMMIT I FORGOT TO BUY THE MILK AGAIN!!!!" fiascos.
Promising review: "I absolutely love this! The magnet is strong and doesn't slide around on my fridge, plus the checklist covers anything I could possible need from the store. And if it doesn't? There are a bunch of blank spaces I could add to! Plus, the price is great." —Caasi
Get it from Amazon for $8.10.
3. Branch-and-twig-inspired graphite pencils anyone ~wood~ be happy to receive. Warning: watch out for splinters.
4. A two-pen holder clip perfect for all agendas. Never fish in the messy abyss of your bag for a writing utensil...ever again!
5. A light-up USB phone charger obsessed with Saturday Night Fever. Apparently, it loves disco music and the Bee Gees.
This handy dandy charger is compatible with the iPhone 5, 6, and 7.
Get it from Aerie for $7.47 (originally $14.95).
6. A pack of all-natural lip balms made from beeswax, vitamin E, and peppermint oil. Hello, hydration free of parabens.
Do you have any idea how much I want to receive lip balms in my stocking this holiday season?!
Promising review: "Stop buying junk lip balm and give this stuff a try. Your lips will thank you for it! I get chapped lips every year during the cold, dry winter months, and I've tried just about every kind of lip balm: so far, Burt's Bees is the absolute best. No more chapped lips!" —Tex
Get a pack of four from Amazon for $8.19. Available in six flavors.
7. A before-you-go toilet spray to fool the world into thinking that a human being poops out jelly beans and fresh fruit.
@poopourri / Via instagram.com
Promising review: "I received a mini version of this as a gag gift and never thought I'd use it...until one fateful day aboard a transatlantic flight. Clearly, everyone who used the bathroom before me had binged on Taco Bell, and I thought my eyes would never stop watering until I remembered I had this and spritzed away. It was magical. It completely got rid of the gas-like odor. After that, I went and bought a large bottle to keep at home." —M.
Get it from Amazon for $8.86.
8. Slip-resistant socks perfect for following the yellow brick road. Don't be such a chicken. Just cross it already.
Promising review: "I bought these for my elderly mother who was a little girl when The Wizard of Oz came out. She had asked for grippy socks for Christmas, so I thought these were perfect! She put them on immediately and wore them all Christmas day! Although the rest of her gift was more expensive, these socks are what attracted her attention the most." —Blutchy12
Get it from Amazon for $8. Available in 17 colors.
9. A self-watering stake that gives plants around the world an actual chance at survival.
This stake releases water slowly over the course of three days, making it perfect for owners who are going away for the weekend. Or are just, you know, forgetful.
Get it from Urban Outfitters for $8.
10. Travel-sized toothpastes in unique flavors such as cinnamon mint, jasmine mint, ginger mint, and licorice mint.
11. Stick-on labels to get the real life of the party — wine, obviously — into the holiday spirit à la ugly sweaters.
12. Pocket-sized tissues because the weather outside is frightful and everyone is starting to sniffle. Ugh.
13. A heat-resistant silicone clip that'll keep dirty spoons off the countertop. Don't worry, this won't escape to the market.
Promising review: "This works great! This trusty clip does a great job at maintaining a clean kitchen and allowing your food to drip and fall back into the pot. It's great at holding spatulas, wooden spoons, and even chopsticks!" —H.Le
Get it from Amazon for $5.93. Also available as a chicken and rooster.
14. Shakespearean bandages so that your S/O has to read "thy breath stinks with eating toasted cheese" with every paper cut.
Promising review: "I bought these as a novelty item stocking stuffer for my boyfriend who loves Shakespeare. Beyond having funny Shakespearean insults on them, they are actually very good quality bandages! They stick very well and seem to be waterproof. Overall, a great buy for novelty and practical purposes." —Sibeal WolfStar
Get it from Amazon for $7.37.
15. Wine glass markers to avoid confusion at the holiday party. Josh, Ryan, Cody, Brad, Chad, and Mitch to the rescue!
Promising review: "Okay, you need these. They're hilarious. They were such a hit that this is the second batch I've purchased! They hang on glasses well, the letters are clear, and again, they're hilarious!" —Jacob Evans
Get a pack of six from Amazon for $8.58. Available in six different styles.
16. A laundry bag that folds neatly into a tiny little pouch. This is the perfect travel-sized item. Clearly.
Promising review: "This is a cute, nicely-sized travel laundry bag with a great design. The bag folds up into a small square, which makes it super convenient for storage until you need to use it." —Laura Vivian
Get it from Amazon for $6.92.
17. Silicone bottle caps designed to keep beer fresh and carbonated. Can't finish a bottle? Just save it!
Psst, these are dishwasher safe and fit most beer bottles.
Promising review: "Works just as claimed! After leaving this cap on a beer for two days, I popped this off and heard it hiss like a fresh beer. This is perfect for those of us who don't always want to finish a 12-oz bottle!" —kkalten
Get a pack of six from Amazon for $9.99.
18. A luggage tag that might ruin your suitcase: it's delicious, but somewhat greasy. Purchase with caution.
Promising review: "Its a luggage tag in the shape of a pizza slice: what's there not to love? It's super unique, and makes finding your luggage after a flight really easy." —Mr. Aponte
Get it from Amazon for $6.99. Available in six colors.
19. A yellow submarine contact case known for being annoying. It always wants to hold your hand. Ugh.
Promising review: "I got this for my girlfriend, and she laughed so hard when I gave it to her. She uses it every day and always gets compliments on it whenever we have company over." —Megan Reed
Get it from Amazon for $5. Available in three styles.
20. A portable power bank to get rid of all your "OMG-I'm-on-four-percent" fiascos.
Plus, this charger has four ports, meaning you can charge four devices at a time.
Promising review: "This is terrific! It does a really good job. I let it charge for about an hour, and I have power all day for my phone!" —John M Shaluly
Get it from Amazon for $9.99.
21. A moisturizing salve made from a delicious blend of aloe and lavender essence. Goodbye, dehydrated hands and cuticles!
Promising review: "This is the best product EVER for dry, winter hands. Plus, the smell is absolutely heavenly! It's the perfect scent to send you off the dreamland! I won't buy anything else!" —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $6.
22. A candle snuffer to put out a flame without getting soot all of your walls. Trust me, it happens.
As an avid candle user, someone please buy this for me.
Promising review: "I purchased this just before Christmas to use with my candles, and it's the handiest little tool I've ever purchased!! Works exactly as expected and looks great. This puts out candle flames in a snap!" —Louija
Get it from Amazon for $7.89.
23. Comfy fleece slippers you'll fall in love with immediately. They'll steal a pizza your heart.
Get them from Urban Outfitters for $9 (originally $18). Available in sizes XS-L
24. Gloves so unique, they look way more expensive than they actually are. Plus, these are touch-screen friendly.
25. A tape measure disguising itself as a gorgeous, wonderful, amazing, spectacular good boy.
Get it from Asos for $9.50.
26. Hot chocolate mix for the person who thinks that Cadbury goods are delicious creations dropped down from heaven.
27. A plush twisted snood you'll want to get immediately. You know what they say: if you snood, you lose.
Get it from American Eagle for $10 (originally $24.95). Available in two colors.
28. Cleansing cloths perfect to store by your nightstand. You know, for nights when you're too lazy to wash your face.
Promising review: "I love these wipes! The skin on my face is so fickle: it is dry AND it breaks out easily. These wipes help the pimples and dryness under control. I just moisturize my face with a little coconut oil afterward, and I am good to go!" —FunnyRunny
Get a pack of 50 from Amazon for $8.29.
29. Cable clips with sticky adhesive to organize your cords and keep them organized, dammit.
Promising review: "These cable clips are necessary for when you have multiple devices in a small area. I use these clips to organize my charging cables in my bedroom, and the adhesive has held up nicely so far." —Jasmine Coleman
Get a pack of six from Amazon for $8.83.
Getting excited about getting makeup wipes for the holidays like:
Loew's Inc.
The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.
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Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed
