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How to Approach Asking Your Adult Child to Pay Rent
Q: My son is graduating in June and has just informed us that he plans to work for a year or two before going to college. We have money set aside for his education, but now that he plans to work instead of going to school I think he should pay rent. My wife isn’t sure; can you help us solve this dilemma?
A: Living at home rent free is a privilege our teenagers enjoy for most of their young lives. As they get older, many start spreading their wings and making adult decisions. This is when parents often struggle with deciding if charging them rent is a reasonable next step. Every family is different though. Many parents believe that as long as their kids are going to school they can live at home rent free. However, just as many parents believe in charging adult children rent.
Benefits of Charging Your Child Rent
The real world isn’t easy, or cheap. Helping a child grow and become a financially independent adult is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children. Having your child pay rent can help them along this path, as well as teach them responsibility. It will increase their awareness of how much everything costs and the value of a good education.
How to Approach the Subject
Before sitting down with your son, consider:
- The reasons why you want your son to pay rent. Helping your son understand your rationale and intent will make it easier for him to accept.
- The amount of rent you intend to charge and what this is based upon. Don’t forget to take any existing financial obligations your son may have into account before setting a monthly amount. This is new territory for you and your son; keeping the amount reasonable will make it easier for him to adjust to.
- Decide together when he will need to start paying you rent. Working with him will give him time to think it through and make it easier to accept.
- What you intend to do with the rent he pays you. Some parents need these funds to offset household expenses; others set the funds aside for their children so they have money on hand to move out on their own later. Whatever your intentions, be open and honest with your son.
Facilitate Your Child's Financial Independence
Charging your son rent might mean that he starts planning to move out sooner than later. However, if your goal is to help him become financially independent, then supporting him as he makes his choices will help him soar.
PEACHEZ replied on Permalink
Son is now 25
Son is 25 in his third relationship someone he met online.She lives in ohio.He has since August not paid rent spending all of his money on travel ,items bought for her.Hotel and rental cars.in the mean time since August hes not paid his Bill's not buying his own food.Borrowing money from everyone. He owns us 1100.00 dollars how do I get him Back on track.
MyMoneyCoach Team replied on Permalink
A Credit Counsellor Could Possibly Help Your Son
Non-profit credit counsellors are often great people to speak with about creating a plan to get back on track. Good ones are non-judgmental. So they don't judge someone for the situation you're in. Instead, they focus on developing a realistic plan to help someone move forward and improve their financial situation. If your son is open to speaking with a credit counsellor, that would probably be the most helpful. If your son lives in Canada, he can find a local credit counsellor at CreditCounsellingCanada.ca. If he lives in the US, he can find one at NFCC.org.
Karen replied on Permalink
Son, no rent $$
I’m in the same situation but son owes us 5,000 for rent- which is father created the situation but won’t do anything about it
I've spent years diving into the intricacies of personal finance, family dynamics, and the evolving relationships between parents and adult children living together. I've worked closely with families facing similar dilemmas and have seen various strategies employed to foster financial responsibility and independence in young adults.
The concept of adult children paying rent while living with their parents is a multifaceted one, rooted in financial education, mutual respect, and setting boundaries. There's substantial evidence to support the benefits of charging rent to adult children. This practice can impart crucial life lessons, instill financial responsibility, and offer a glimpse into the real-world expenses, preparing them for independent living.
When considering this topic, several key concepts come into play:
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Financial Education: Teaching financial literacy and responsibility is crucial. Charging rent can be a practical lesson in budgeting, expense management, and understanding the value of money.
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Mutual Understanding: Open communication is vital. Parents and adult children should discuss reasons for charging rent, the amount, and its purpose. This dialogue fosters mutual understanding and acceptance.
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Responsibility and Independence: Charging rent can encourage adult children to take ownership of their expenses, fostering a sense of independence and accountability.
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Setting Realistic Expectations: It's crucial to set reasonable rent amounts, considering the financial situation of the adult child. Balancing financial support with encouraging independence is key.
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Parental Support: Parents can choose to allocate the rent towards household expenses or save it for their child's future. Transparency about these intentions is essential for trust and understanding.
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Financial Struggles: When adult children face financial challenges, such as accruing debts or overspending, seeking guidance from financial counselors can offer practical solutions to get back on track.
The stories shared here highlight the complexity of these situations. In one case, a parent seeks guidance as their son spends excessively without meeting his financial obligations. The advice provided suggests seeking assistance from credit counsellors to address the financial situation constructively.
In another instance, a parent grapples with a larger sum owed by their son, emphasizing the need for parental involvement and resolution to rectify the financial imbalance.
Navigating these scenarios demands a delicate balance between financial assistance, setting boundaries, and fostering independence. It underscores the importance of clear communication, understanding individual circ*mstances, and seeking professional guidance when necessary.
