Tips like thesehelped us pay off $127K in debt. You can read our story inSlaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After.
Want to really wow your Valentine this February? Have a budget meeting.
I can almost hear the groans through the internet. But you can do more to bring financial stability to your relationship by talking about your finances than any grand romantic gesture will ever accomplish. Money fights and money problems top the list of reasons for divorce.
Here are 5 Financial tips for couples to keep the love alive!
The King of Free often quips that “the death of communication is the birth of resentment.” You cannot over communicate when it comes to your finances. That being said, you need to choose conversations wisely. It’s not a good idea to begin a conversation about money or finances in the middle of a fight. Instead, choose a tip when you can both quietly and calmly discuss things. Eliminate distractions by powering down your iPad, phone, and even the television. Be sure that the kids are tucked into bed and even your friendly pets are well occupied. And come to the table with an open and honest dialogue, not a long list of wrongs you’re wanting fixed. Realize you’re on the same team, that you love each other, and you both want financial success for your household.
If you’ve never set a budget for your household before, it’s a great idea to spend naturally &collect every receipt for 30-60 days. Put them in a big envelope and then at the end of the time period, review the receipts together. Put your judgey pants aside, and get an honest gauge of home much you both spend and on what. It’s important not to spend like Ebeneezer Scrooge or a Real Housewife during this time period. They’ll be time for savings strategies later on but this exercise is a good beginning to handling your money well as a couple.
We have a dollar figure agreed upon together that we don’t spend unless we consult one another. I’m not talking about every single grocery item on the checkout belt. I’m talking about non-budgeted, irregular expenses. So if we find a great deal or realize a need, we run those decisions by each other to agree upon the purchase mutually. It eliminates the passive aggressive “Well why did you buy that?!” feelings we once had with each other. And more times than not, we both are on the same page for the purchase.
If you can, take at least 1 or 2 grocery shopping trips together before setting the budget for grocery shopping. It can be a fun date but more importantly it helps you both realize that exactly how much the food you are eating costs. That way you can set a realistic dollar figure you can both own for food expenses. People get off track financially more frequently in feeding their face than any other area. You need a team effort to make things work.
What would happen if your spouse suddenly passed away? Would you know what bills are paid when? Would you know the passwords for online banking? What about life insurance? Where is your will kept? This is one of the many reasons why you need to communicate often about your finances. You both need to know how much money is coming, how much is going out, and where specifically it’s going. Creating a folder or box either virtually or physically where all of this information is kept, is key in marital financial success. If you’re not a numbers person, you CANNOT run, hide, or cover your eyes. You must be an active part of the process. On the flipside, you do your spouse no favors by doing all of the financial heavy lifting by yourself. If you were gone tomorrow, would they even know the essential information to keep your household running?
We might think that hearts and flowers mean true love, but I’d like to think that a black bottom line is much sexier than a red one. This Valentine’s Day, begin a journey of showing your sweetheart how much you care by talking dollars and cents.
My book is now available:Slaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After.You can also check outInspiration to Pay Off Debt: 30 Days of Encouragement from the Queen of Free
on Kindle.
This post contains an affiliate link. That means when you get a great deal or maybe even something for free, you also help our family pay off our mortgage early. And for that, we royally thank you!
Related posts:
Welcome WTHR Weekend Sunrise Viewers: 20 Dates on the CheapGreat Ideas to Teach Kids About MoneyVideo: Organize Your Finances in the New Year
FAQs
More than half of respondents (57%) think a loss of income or salary reduction would negatively impact their relationship. Around 41% of respondents have hidden certain expenses from their partner, and 10% of respondents feel uncomfortable with a partner accessing their personal finances.
How important is money to you in a relationship? ›
Financial stability is a crucial factor in a healthy relationship and having a stable source of income can provide peace of mind and security. Being employed can also indicate a strong work ethic and responsibility, which are important qualities in a partner.
Why do couples always argue about money? ›
Couples often divide duties, and financial duties are no exception. One partner might handle day-to-day household spending, while the other focuses on long-term savings and investing. But those roles are naturally at odds with one another. Such a division of labor is often a source of conflict, experts say.
Why couples should talk about money? ›
Bottom line. Couples should reflect on their relationship with money, visualizing their financial priorities and deciding on a plan to achieve them together. Starting financial discussions early helps partners align financial goals and develop a strong foundation for a future together.
Can money break up a relationship? ›
It is no secret that financial matters can be a significant source of stress in relationships. Disagreements over spending habits, debt, and financial goals often lead to conflict. Money-related tensions can escalate quickly, causing resentment and even the breakup of an otherwise decent relationship.
Why does money change relationships? ›
Financial Psychology Theory
The social or economic exchange theory suggests that people use money as a form of reward or punishment in relationships. This can create power imbalances or struggles and feelings of insecurity or inferiority.
Can a man love you and not give you money? ›
A man who loves you will want to protect you and provide for you. But that doesn't necessarily mean money. Look for the other ways he does that, and let him know you appreciate his efforts and he makes you happy.
Is money a deal breaker in relationships? ›
It's no secret that money issues can add stress to a relationship. But a new survey from The Knot, a wedding planning website, finds couples say certain moves are deal breakers in their relationships. The top unforgiveable move, with 43% of respondents, is acting secretive or dishonest about finances.
What is more important, money or love? ›
Key points. Money cannot buy love, but money increases the chances of finding love, and love decreases the need for money. A higher income is associated with less daily sadness but not more daily happiness. A partner should not be a means for your success, but one with whom you share joint flourishing.
What is a toxic relationship with money? ›
It feels like your money is working against you. You're constantly worried about how much money you have and whether that money is going to disappear overnight. You feel embarrassed talking about your financial situation in public. Sometimes you're scared to even look at bank statement or open the bills.
How To Keep Money From Destroying Your Marriage
- Talk About Money Early And Often. To have a successful marriage, you need to have good communication — that's a no-brainer, but it's still harder than it sounds. ...
- Track Your Spending And Investments. ...
- Create A Plan. ...
- Set The Same Goals. ...
- Reward Yourself For Your Money Wins.
Income Differences
If a high-earning partner is accustomed to a higher standard of living, the partner who earns less could have trouble keeping up with the lifestyle, causing them financial stress. The higher-earning partner could also feel stress if they end up bearing most or all of the financial burden.
Who pays in a relationship? ›
The researchers found that young men paid for all or most of the dates around 90 percent of the time, while women paid only about 2 percent (they split around 8 percent of the time). On subsequent dates, splitting the check was more common, though men still paid a majority of the time while women rarely did.
Does money really matter in a relationship? ›
As a tool, money is important in a relationship. As a matter of fact, recent surveys show that financial challenges are some of the leading causes of breakups in marriages and relationships. Continued financial arguments can also decrease the level of satisfaction in a relationship.
Should you date a man with financial problems? ›
No, many people find that money issues are a deal breaker.
However, if the guy you're seeing knows he has money issues and has a plan to fix them, then it might not be as big of a deal in the relationship.
Does money spoil relationship? ›
Money can test your trust, love, and loyalty for your partner. At some point, you would have to sit down and talk about your financial expectations from your partner or your relationship may suffer a dangerous hit in the long run.
How does financial well-being impact relationships? ›
The way you manage your finances can significantly impact your emotional and physical health, your relationships, and your overall quality of life. Research by Australian Unity found that people with higher scores in the area of financial control tend to have higher overall well-being scores.
What was the effect of money in the couples attitude? ›
Matters of finance can strain relationships in many ways, such as when spouses keep secret debts from their partners or, as a recent study showed, when wives make more than their husbands. One source of conflict is how differently people are raised to think about saving, spending, and investing.
How does financial stress affect relationships? ›
The impact of financial stress on relationships
If one or both people in the relationship lose their jobs or struggles to find enough work, feelings of grief, loss, sadness, anger, anxiety, helplessness and guilt can all spill over into the relationship.
on Kindle.